PRAGMATIC ISSUES

Gavin Newsom, America’s New Troll-in-Chief But -With Class

If you thought the 2025 political season couldn’t get weirder, California Governor Gavin Newsom has decided to moonlight as the internet’s newest meme lord—by trolling Donald Trump in a way that would make even Twitter’s most dedicated basement dwellers proud.

Forget policy papers and carefully crafted speeches. Newsom’s strategy seems to be: fire up the CAPS LOCK, sprinkle in Trump’s greatest hits (“TINY HANDS… LOW IQ… SAD!”), and watch Fox News spontaneously combust.

And, it’s working.

Trump built his brand on late-night rants that looked like someone had locked a cat in the Oval Office with an iPhone with the CAPS lock stuck on. Newsom, apparently, took notes. Except instead of defending himself from imaginary enemies, he’s turned the weapon back on its creator.

It’s political judo: use your opponent’s momentum (and font) to flip them flat on their face.

Maps, Beautiful Maps

When Trump bragged about “beautiful maps,” Newsom responded with his own: California redrawn across the entire country. Historic, tremendous, everyone says so. If Trump insists he can control election maps from Washington, Newsom’s making it a coloring book for adults.

Newsom even added a little AI endorsement circus

Kid Rock, Tucker Carlson, Hulk Hogan—digitally resurrected to bless Newsom like angels in a fever dream. This wasn’t politics. This was political WWE fan fiction. The result? Trump’s celebrity endorsements looked less like a show of strength and more like a lineup for the “Has-Beens of MAGA County Fair.”

TikTok and FaceBook have erupted with hundreds of AI generated content depicting Gavin Newsom saving animals from burning buildings, to being dressed up as a Rap Star with a tagline that says “Say, I heard you like em young,” Newsom saving the Statue of Liberty, helpless women, to him being our Lord and Savior.

In fact, with all of the social media attention, Gavin is being thirsted after with women referring to him as a “Hottie,” a “Silver Fox.”

I cannot recall a single time anyone thirsted after Trump.

Let’s Not Forget that Fox News is Giving Newsom Free Advertising

We watched Dana Perino’s meltdown on The Five. “You are making a fool of yourself,” she huffed. Translation: How dare you beat Trump at his own game? Newsom’s response? Post that criticism like a Yelp review he was proud of. Rent-free, baby.

Mocking Trump is Working Gloriously

Because Trump has always thrived on mockery, but never really been mocked with his own toolkit, he and his following are not taking this well. It’s like Batman suddenly seeing the Bat-Signal used to advertise a garage sale. Trump knows the troll playbook better than anyone—but now he’s not the author.

Bottom line: Gavin Newsom has discovered the kryptonite to Trump’s bluster: satire so absurd, it makes Trump look like the guy stuck at the karaoke bar insisting on one more round of “My Way.”

America’s politics might be broken, but at least the memes are funny and Newsom at least has some class.