PRAGMATIC ISSUES

Trump’s National Guard Landscaping Service: Making America Rake Again

Washington, D.C. has officially become the nation’s most expensive lawn-care project. Forget defending the capital or training for war—the National Guard is now spreading mulch, picking up trash, and pruning shrubbery on the National Mall. Why? Because President Trump decided that the National Park Service wasn’t lean enough, axed their staff, and replaced them with soldiers.

Yes, you read that right. The men and women trained for combat are now raking leaves in Lafayette Park while Pete Hegseth, our Secretary of Defense, lectures about “lethality.” Nothing says “battle-ready” like hauling trash bags down Constitution Avenue.

From Citizen Soldiers to Custodial Squads

The Guard is supposed to be a reserve force for national emergencies, not a landscaping crew for the Commander-in-Chief’s ego. Yet here they are: dismantling homeless encampments, trimming hedges, even planting flowers. One soldier joked online that they’d soon be “offered seasonal work as Santa’s elves.” At over $1 million a day, taxpayers are footing the bill for what used to be done by Park Service workers earning honest wages.

But firing those workers created the vacuum that Trump then “heroically” filled with troops. It’s like burning down your kitchen just so you can brag about being the one to call the fire department.

A Presidency of Optics, Not Substance

Trump has never been shy about spectacle over substance. Deploying uniformed troops to clean trash is the political equivalent of hanging velvet curtains over a crumbling wall. It looks neat on camera, it gets a slogan—“Make D.C. Safe and Beautiful Again”—and it distracts from the fact that actual governance is rotting behind the mulch.

Militarizing the Mundane

What happens when you normalize using the Guard for custodial work? You erode the line between civil service and military force. Next time a city budget gets cut, do we send in the Marines to run the DMV? Navy SEALs to replace cafeteria workers? It’s absurd, but it’s also a dangerous precedent: the militarization of everyday life disguised as beautification.

The Real Trash

The piles of garbage aren’t just on the streets of D.C.—they’re in the policies that gutted the Park Service and turned the Guard into glorified janitors. The administration may pat itself on the back for a “cleaner, safer capital,” but the stench of cynicism lingers.

Because if America’s soldiers are raking leaves for political theater, then the real waste isn’t in the trash bags. It’s in the Oval Office.

Happy Labor Day National Guard Troops that are tasked with cleaning up DC or any other city, you deserve a cheers and a round.

Donald, the Don, I have a job for your “Landscapers. Care To Find Out What it is?”